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Val Stuart's avatar

Each sentence kept me waiting, falling forward to the next. Skillful and well done.

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Jason Duck's avatar

Nice bit of atmospheric writing.

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Erica Sloan's avatar

Fascinating historical context! Would have loved to get a bit more information on what killed him (the ending with the body bag being sewn up was a little anticlimactic for me). But a short and neat horrifying mystery.

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Leigh Parrish's avatar

Thank you! I'm afraid the lack of info is mainly because it was for a flash fiction contest (under 1000 words), so there was a lot that I had to cut out. I actually planned for the monster be revealed as the derelict ship's captain!

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Winston Malone's avatar

The pacing of this story is perfect. I really wanted it to keep going. But you've done what flash fiction is meant to do, and that is to provide a glimpse into a world/setting while telling a succinct event or story (among other things). The ominous lead up to the opening of the hatch to below deck encapsulated the fear of the unknown! Great work, Leigh.

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Leigh Parrish's avatar

Thank you so much!

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S.E. Reid's avatar

Phenomenal! Absolutely gripping, I loved every moment. ✨

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May 21, 2023
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Leigh Parrish's avatar

Thanks for the feedback. I don't really have an agenda here. Saunders spends the whole piece trying his best to play the part of brave, dutiful captain for his crew, so it seemed reasonable to me to end it by showing that, at least in that, he succeeded.

Re the rotten fruit thing, perhaps it wasn't the best metaphor, but I'd imagine being hit with a month old corpse would be pretty squishy. 😉

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