13 Comments

Marvelous story! The characters are beautifully drawn.

Expand full comment

This was soooo good. 💥 Loved it.

Expand full comment

Wow, that was good. And I just happen to have that book. Bought last month. It's on my TBR list.

Expand full comment

I really liked reading this. I fell through the screen and saw the action, and felt the tension too. The point where he suddenly knows something is wrong really ramped things up. Thank you, I'm looking forward to reading more.

Expand full comment

Saw this as you’d submitted on another’s site. What an amazing story. Held me from the beginning. Well done! I just put up my very first short story, a metaphor of sorts. If you happen on over to read it, I’d love any feedback. I’m new here in Substack, but already loving it! Keep up the good work! Will you continue with this, as in a book? Just curious. I’d definitely buy it😉.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the kind words. I don't have any published books, but I am starting to do research for a novella, which I'll be posting here as a serial. 🙂

Expand full comment

What a fantastic shape this story has taken. I feel lucky to have seen an early draft!

I think this ending is great, you have a real talent for pacing the rising action and the climactic scene, and I think that is a very difficult skill to learn.

Really great story here.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much! Your feedback really helped me get mentally "unstuck" about writing the ending.

Expand full comment

I come to you by way of Talebones newsletter recommendation. Obligation, conflict and salvation with a twist. Excellent!

Expand full comment

Thank you!

Expand full comment

Great story, loved it.

Expand full comment

Thank you!

Expand full comment

Happened to be scrolling my feed when this popped up and i read it start to finish--absolutely gripping. The relationships bubbled up into and through each other so effortlessly, past present and future mingled to perfection! I really enjoyed this!

Expand full comment