13 Comments
User's avatar
Erica Sloan's avatar

What an excellent use of a countdown for suspense.

Scoot's avatar

Absolutely stunning. Gut wrenching take on the classic ghost story. I want him to succeed, and I don't know what that means.

Nick Winney's avatar

this was a really interesting idea and the minute by minute countdown was great for tension but i was confused by the ending despite reading it a couple of times. is she a ghost... is she trapped by a ghost... who is the other "she"... i felt unable to grasp the full effect of the story because i couldnt work out quite what was going on. possibly more my problem than anything in the writing. some things are not obvious even when they stare you in the face.

Leigh Parrish's avatar

No worries. Ashley is definitely a ghost. As for the other "she", I decided to leave that ambiguous. But you do get just a glimpse of her before Ethan is sent running. 🙂

Laura Mollett's avatar

So glad you won the award. This is a great story!

Andy Futuro's avatar

A well deserved victory!

FranB's avatar

Great story!

Jason Duck's avatar

Excellent! Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

EJ Trask's avatar

beautiful scary story!

Nick's avatar

Ooo. That description of the hand coming out the lake was 👌

Liz Zimmers's avatar

Fantastic and heartbreaking. I hope Ethan comes up with a plan to free Ashley. And…I want to know more about what was in the lake!